To kill or to be killed
by KristenMaggiePattz
Summary: Okay, this is it. What if Katniss wasn't picked for The Hunger Games? What if, what if! Despair and drama, would you like to watch your friend die? I don't think so.


Well, hi everyone! This is my first fic of THG and I really hope you ENJOY it! Excuse my ortography, I'm not writing for English class, you know. So, I hope you like it and let me know how you feel about it! Please :) Now, read! :)

**DISCLAIMER: Suzanne Collins owns ALL the characters and a few lines, I only own the story. **

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><p>Buttercup growled at me while I was waking up Prim. She needed to be ready for school and she couldn't unless she stopped sleeping like a baby, so I was just doing my normal chores. Still, the orange, ugly and mistreated cat looked at my fingers as if he was willing to eat them in any second.<p>

Prim yawned and opened her eyes, then batted her eyelashes to me and tapped my nose with her finger.

"I was dreaming something nice, Katniss," she frowned and closed her eyes again. "Five more minutes, mom."

"You have to go to class, Primrose." I scolded, she wasn't going to use that technique with me, I wasn't that smooth.

"I don't see the point, you know. We should be watching The Hunger Games, and stuff." She gave me a hard gaze, and I focused mine on my lap pretending something very interesting was happening down there. "You're not going anymore, I've noticed."

"Yeah, but you know someone has to watch mom's reactions toward the contestants..."

"Tributes, Katniss," I nod to her correction. I didn't want to treat them as simple pieces of meat. They were people, deserved to be treated like that. "And I also know today will be the interviews with Caesar Flickerman . Still not in the arena."

"Yeah, but today... It's kind of important."

"Why do you care? Is it because..."

"I don't care, okay?" I interrupted her, and pressed my lips together. "I do care, I mean," I corrected myself rapidly; I didn't want to seem heartless.

"Yes, I know, 23 people are going to die, I get it." She sighed and combed her hair with her bare hands. "I thought you almost died when Effie read that guy's name out loud, what was it...?"

"Shut up, Prim," I gasped. She couldn't do this to me, she wouldn't go that far, would her? I shook my head, and stood up in the bedroom. "Go change, mom will be up in any minute, and she'll ground you. Take it as an advice." I went to the kitchen as I heard soft steps behind me.

"Don't get mad, please," I raised my eyebrow. Ironically, she wasn't lying; I could tell by her voice tone.

"I'm not mad, is just I cannot get it off my mind. Please give it a rest, Prim," I pulled from the cabinet a loaf of bread, our last loaf, and sliced into nine, I gave one to Prim and saved one for me. "Eat and then go to the shower." I ordered.

"Sure." She chewed the bread, and I did the same. It was cold, but still delicious, and I couldn't complain. "Do you think the baker will give us more of this?"

"I don't think so, he's having a hard time now, remember?" I stared at the thick slice I was holding. Now, the bread was tasteless, my appetite was entirely gone. I pushed it aside with the rest and putted it back into the cabinet.

"You won't eat, Katniss?" She was worried; I wasn't eating much since the reaping. No one knew why, neither do I. I denied firmly, the truth was I wasn't hungry, not with my mind on the next days. Kids starving in the arena, and no one to feed them but themselves. "You cannot play the game too, you're here."

"I don't know what's worse, if being there or here," District 12 was one of the poorest districts of Panem, here was the place where you could easily die because of hunger. We're safe from outsiders by an electric fence (known because it wasn't on all time), but we weren't safe from the ghosts that haunted us inside it. We were the district of mining, and if you were male and above the age of 18, you must have worked in our mine. My dad used to work there, until the mine exploded, and he died with his partners years ago.

"I can assure here's better, Katniss." She took my chin and forced me to look at her eyes. "Don't be a fool; you won't die because you have this complex of having a boyfriend in the Games,"

"I don't have a boyfriend, and if I had, he won't be at the Games for sure," She rolled her eyes as a response.

"Can you explain me then what does Peeta Mellark mean to you exactly?" Her question hanged in the air for a couple of minutes before I returned from being startled.

"Peeta who?" I blinked perplexed. What was she talking about again?

"Mellark, the baker's son," She poked my shoulder and bit her lower lip. "He's this year's male tribute. You know that, Katniss! I saw you, you were going to faint!" She sighed with courage. "Don't pretend you..."

"What? I was shocked because of Madge, Prim! She's my friend, one of the few I have," I muttered the last part; I didn't want her to think I was so pathetic I had only two friends. Madge and my best friend Gale.

"Really? Because your skin became pale white when the 'P' was pronounced,"

"I swear!" My hands flew over my head, and my teeth clutched together making a horrible sound. "Now go and take a bath, you smell." My hands turned into fists while I made my way back to the bedroom. Time to wake up my mom.

She was already there, though, and when I made my appearance her wide-open eyes met mine. I wished her good morning and helped her stand up, I still didn't trust her. When dad died, she encased herself in a reinforced iron bubble though to burst. Finally, she reacted, but I was waiting for her to back off again, leaving Prim and me defenceless as once she did.

"Are you okay, Katniss?" She asked, and I just nodded, unable to use my voice; I feared it shook and broke all my intent of appearing fine. I was in shock for Prim's accusation, me preoccupied for a guy I've never talked to? But I had to admit I was attached to him somehow.

It happened when I was twelve, my father just died in the mine and everything wasn't going the way I planned. Everything seemed senseless under the pouring, cold rain. I went to sell some Prim's baby clothes to the Hob, the black market in the district, without luck, and then started the rain, chilling me to the bone. I left myself near the bakery, hoping for a fast death, knowing also that was nearly impossible.

I heard how the baker's wife was trying to kick me out of her garden, so I wept my tears and removed myself from her garbage cans. I saw a blonde boy behind her, staring with curiosity the scene, but staying away from it. He disappeared for a second, and I heard something breaking, and then came back with two loaves of burned bread. I wondered why he was still staring at me. He looked to his left and then to his right, but his mother was gone, then he threw a loaf to the pigs and the other one he threw to me. At least it landed to my feet, so I took it hesitantly and silently thanked him with my gaze. That night my family and I had what to eat because of the baker's son.

Sometimes I caught him looking at me at the school, but I never had the guts of thanking him personally, I guess I'll never have the opportunity now he went to the Games. Even if I didn't want to realise it, a part of me was sad of his departure, now I couldn't just trade with his father without seeing the grief in his eyes. This would affect me one way or another.

When Prim and my mother were ready, I kissed Prim goodbye and seated in my spot in front of the television. My mom did the same beside me without making a sound and turned the TV on. The Capitol was playing a special of the Dark Days before they showed the repetition of the Reaping Day, they've been doing this since that day three days ago except for yesterday's night; they streamed live the presentation of the tributes, where the sponsors and the crowd finally saw them and formed their first impression. I remembered Madge and Peeta were dressed in some kind of red dresses, anyway I didn't remember them to well. Maybe Cinna, their stylist, wan't too good. Well, that wasn't disappointing at all; at least I was expecting it.

I paid attention to the screen when the reaping in the district 12 was shown, and caught a glimpse of myself in the crowd when Peeta's name was called. I was literally terrified, and I was biting my nails, so I was nervous. Perfect, Prim was right, I cared about the baker's son. So what? He saved my life once; I felt like I owe him something and watching how he died wasn't the way to pay him back. I had to do something, right?

The question was how.

The answer was none; I could do nothing but wait for a miracle. Maybe that guy from district 2, Cato I remembered, could suicide himself before touching Peeta, who knows? But there was Madge also, I didn't want her to die either, she was my friend, wasn't she?

Certainly divided, I bit the corner of my nails, praying for a valid answer. I had to see the results one by one, maybe Madge and Peeta could get out of this one harmless. But I pushed away the thought, it was impossible; the Hunger Games could only have one winner. No exceptions.

I felt my mother walking toward the kitchen and I realised she hadn't ate yet. I blinked and chased her; she was digging in the cabinet when I found her. I tried to take her hand to give her the food, but she snapped at me and shook her head.

"I'm fine, Katniss, seriously, stop your role playing." She seemed upset, so I hid my face behind my hair and my hands behind my hips.

"I'm just helping you out,"

"I can fend for myself, I'm already over it." Her voice broke at the final words, but I pretended I haven't heard it. "You aren't exactly helping me out by forbidding me my daily work," After this complains, I considered giving my mother a break. I could see in her eyes her effort to keep herself in one piece, for Prim and me. But when she restrained herself from us, she lost that right. I wasn't sure if I was ready to let it go.

"Okay, I'll be in front of the TV if you need me," I forced myself out of there without glancing anything but my skinny, old, and ragged jeans. With my legs and fingers crossed, I stared at the screen for some news. But all I got was same all, same all. Claudius Templesmith talking about how good the variety of tributes was, assuring this year's would be full of surprises. Meanwhile his endless speech, the faces of the tributes, some fierce and some hopeless, were shown behind his funny figure.

A beautiful dark-haired twelve-year old girl with a brownish skin called Rue caught my eye. She reminded me to Prim, in fact she could be her in a parallel world. They were so alike. Suddenly I felt the necessity of protecting her too.

I took a deep breath while I fixated my eyes on my nails; they were noticeably injured, and they prayed for me not eating them repeatedly, but let's face it, that's not going to happen.

In the afternoon, Prim arrived from school chatting about how she met with Gale at the Hob. Gale had entered to work to the mines and I only got to see him on Sundays if I was lucky. Unfortunately, I was so absorbed by the TV that I didn't met him at his lunch hour; I was such a bad friend. I sighed and patted Prim's back, inviting her to sit with me. She and my mom, who was not far away from her, did, and Prim smiled at me.

"They'll be dazzling, I've heard Peeta's very charming," She lifted her eyebrows at the same time I did. "Just saying. Next time, eat me," I giggled and shook my head.

"Maybe I'll do it, don't give me any ideas," She joined my giggles and soon we were all laughing. After a couple of minutes, she hushed me and pointed the TV.

"It's about to begin, everybody silence!" My eyes opened anxiously, and quiet sounds echoed inside my throat. I was more nervous than ever. "It's because is the first time you cannot save everyone you want.", my subconscious reminded me, and I frowned. It was sort of true, but you cannot have it all, I have learned that the wrong way.

And there he was, Caesar Flickerman in his same suit, and with his crazy hair dyed blue, announcing to the crowd (and the whole Panem) who were the tributes this year, and giving nice comments about their looks at the grand parade. He started with the interviews, three minutes each, and the first one to step on stage was Glimmer, a silly blonde who played the roll of the 'sexy' girl. Her parents must have been very proud.

Cato was the dangerous, typically huge and rude guy, whose self confidence provoked chills down your spine. He was ready to fight, ready to kill, and he talked with no trace of guilt or mercy at all. He strongly represented District two along with his partner Clove. She gave me chills too.

Next intriguing face was the girl from District 5, who I rather call Foxface because of her physical traits; she was quiet and mysterious, I could absolutely bet on her. Then it was Rue's turn, and I couldn't believe how sweet she was. Next on, the male tribute of her district, which was district 11, Thresh, had the same brownish skin, but the resemblance stopped there. He was intimidating, a bit less than Cato though, and his harsh gaze stabbed me like sharp knives.

It was Madge's turn now. She was reserved and tremendously shallow. Every answer she gave was touched by her father's influence, like if someone had paid her for giving those responses. His father was the mayor of our district, but neither his complain nor his crying helped his daughter. A gorgeous, but not stunning, dress brushed her pink skin; it defined her curves and gave her an almost seductive look. She wore little make-up, but I liked it that way better, not too artificial. I smiled, I liked Cinna.

"There's the baker," Prim said and my heart doubted when I watched him as he entered with a half-smile to the room. He was half-smiling! If I have been in his place, I would probably not have smiled. "At least he's happy."

"He isn't, Prim," I intervened, and hushed her with my finger.

"Do I smell like roses, Caesar?" The whole crowd was now giggling and calling his name. The interview went fine, he loved playing with the people and making jokes about how much he liked the Capitol. Yeah, traitor.

I disconnected myself from the world to get lost in my empty mind. Soon, a question of Caesar drew me back again to reality, he asked Peeta if he had a special girl.

"Yes, sure, everyone has one I think," His enormous smile lightened the screen.

"Okay, could you tell us as a secret who the lucky girl is?" Peeta pressed his lips together as he pursuit for the right reply, but finally he sighed and nodded.

"She doesn't know, so here I go," He took a deep breath and I held mine. "Madge, you mustn't know, but since the first time I saw you I turned love struck." His passionate declaration brought tears in the crowd's eyes, but I was able only to look nowhere.

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><p>Yeah, well! Same scenario I guess! Go, Peeta, GO! Idk what's happening next, so... I'll discover it with you!<p>

**Buns&Hugs, K.M.P.**


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